Acts of Service
The opening of this week’s Torah portion, Emor, describes the special expectations that pertain only to the members of the priesthood. In many ways, it continues to elaborate on the themes of holiness that we explored last week, but with a new twist: the priesthood must be holy because they are the ones who offer the sacrifices, which are explicitly likened to food.
They shall be holy to their God and not profane the name of their God; for they offer the LORD’s offerings by fire, the food of their God, and so must be holy…you must treat them as holy, since they offer the food of your God (Lev. 21:6, 8).
While their status as God’s caretakers comes with many restrictions, it also comes with privileges; only members of the priesthood are able to partake of the sacrificial donations that are remain after sunset (Lev. 22:6). The food they offer to God becomes their sustenance too.
Reading the Torah this year with a special eye towards the role of food, I was struck by the way in which this parasha elevates the act of food preparation. The priests are holy precisely because their lives are dedicated to serving God, through the preparation of sacrifices. And while God may not need sacrifices to survive the way humans need food to survive, the Torah makes two things clear: the sacrifices help to shape and mediate the relationship between people and God, and God enjoys the sacrifices.
The same is true of the food we provide to our families. Speaking personally, I’ll admit that cooking dinner can often feel like drudgery. As a mother of two young children, the mental load of caring for my family is very high, and food preparation is a big part of that. Each week, I sit down to try to plan out our meals and am struck by the clash between warring desires: I want to enjoy cooking and to cook food I will enjoy eating, but I also want to cook food that my children will accept and that is nutritious. Few meals achieve all of these things.
For me, cooking is an expression of love, but it is also a necessity. I know that without a balanced meal, we will all end up hungry and cranky. But the task of figuring out a balanced meal that everyone will enjoy can be exhausting, and my kids’ eyes never light up quite the same way about broccoli as they do about homemade cookies. Balancing the desire for joy with the need for balance is hard. By the time I have finished planning and gone grocery shopping, I often feel so tired that I am tempted to order take out.
When cooking feels like drudgery, it can be hard to remember that this concrete, daily (and yes, exhausting) work of feeding our families is, in fact, holy work. Like the sacrifices in the Temple, the food we make for our children helps to shape and mediate our relationships. It is a way that we express love and care, a way to introduce delight but also attend to our children’s most basic needs, to show them - in a way they might not always notice or understand - that we are always thinking of them, and doing our best to provide for them. And finally, like the sacrifices, it is a reminder that food is not always (or only) about nutrition but also about enjoyment.
Let this Torah portion be your reminder that caring for your children is holy work. Sometimes, we can sense the transcendent with our children. I’m not sure anything will ever bring me as much joy as watching my daughter run towards me with delight when I pick her up from school, or feeling my son’s arm wrapped around me as he snuggles in for extra cuddles. I see their pride when they master a new task, their excitement and curiosity as they discover something new in the world, and I think to myself, “Yes, this is what life is about.” I don’t always experience that same transcendence in the grocery aisle, or flipping pancakes as a whiny child clings to me and insists on being held, or when my kids respond to the food on the table by pushing it away and moaning. But it’s important to remind ourselves in those mundane or challenging moments: this, too, is what life is about. I don’t think it is accidental that the service the priests performed in the Temple is referred to in Jewish tradition as avodah, work. Caretaking, in all its glory and indignity, is work. And the life of a parent, like the life of a priest, is full of different expectations and restrictions from the lives of those adults who are less weighted down with relationship and responsibility. But to be a priest is an honor; we still recognize the special status of the priestly families in our rituals today. And while in many ways, priesthood and parenthood could not be more different, I hope this parasha, coming as it does this year on the heels of Mother’s Day, can help us each take a moment to remember that being a parent is an honor too.
This week, rather than a specific teaching to share with your teaching, I encourage you to mark a special moment during Shabbat to connect with your children, to help lay the groundwork for those moments of transcendence. What is something that you love to do together? Maybe it is reading a book, building a lego tower, or playing in the backyard together. Even if it is just 15 minutes, see if you can carve out some special time with each of your children to be fully focused and present with theme, to remind yourself of the reason and motivation behind all your daily acts of service to your family.
Since our goal this week is to transcend the drudgery of cooking, I’m bringing you a super easy bagel board to share with your family this week. This meal takes almost no prep time, but still feels special in our family and nice enough for guests. It’s easily customizable to suit each family member’s preferences, and makes a perfect Shabbat lunch.
Bagel Board
For the last decade or so, whenever I have come home for a visit, my father has greeted us with a bagel lunch. It is always a beautiful spread: bagels, cream cheese, lox, tomatoes, red onions and capers, often with some cucumber and salad greens thrown in for good measure. The bagels were always thoughtfully selected in our favorite flavors (everything for the adults, plain for the kids), as was the cream cheese (veggie or herb for the adults, plain for the kids… sensing a pattern here?). It was a meal that communicated love and welcome; it was also a meal that was easy to prepare for a full house of children and grandchildren descending for the holidays or summer vacation. Could there be anything better?
The best thing about a bagel board is that you can customize it your family’s preferences. My kids love smoked salmon, and we don’t get it often, so it feels like a special treat. Not into lox and cream cheese? Whip up some tuna salad, egg salad, or even this incredible curried chickpea salad for a different approach to this easy meal. Try sliced cheese in place of the cream cheese, and pile on some avocado and pickled vegetables for a different experience. The choices are endless. But the best part? No mental load, no prep time, just easy meal time fun with your family.
Ingredients
Bagels (from your favorite bagel place, or the grocery store)
Spreads of your choice: cream cheese, tuna salad, egg salad, hummus, chickpea salad… whatever you enjoy!
Toppings: smoked salmon, sliced tomato, sliced cucumber, sliced or mashed avocado, pickled vegetables, red onions, capers… again, customize to suit your preferences.
Instructions
Slice the bagels.
Arrange the toppings on a tray.
Let everyone assemble their sandwich or plate, according to their preferences.